I'm alive. I am very much alive, although this blog doesn't reflect that, I promise I am still here. I'm not sure why posting has been so hard for me this past year. I can think of a few reasons, I work a lot in the office and try to limit my time staring at more screens if I don't have too, I don't feel as adventurous as before ( I'm working in this) and the seasons of my life have just been changing. I could go on.
Today I received an email from someone in the states that has been invited to serve as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Paraguay and has been reading my blog. He had so many compliments and nice things to say about my blog it inspired me to sit down and write this post. I think I forget sometimes how important this blog was for me during my two years of service. I forgot how much I enjoyed sharing my life and experiences with you and how supportive you all were. Thanks again for that! I apologize if I have disappointed anyone this last year at my lack of posting. We all have our struggles. Mine has been communication, for sure. And it doesn't help that I have gone through two computers and have boycotted purchasing a new one. Trying to type long letters on an iPad is a struggle! But tonight I am motivated.
This last year. What do I even say. Where do I even begin. I am still very much in love with Paraguay and a certain Paraguayan. I love my job in the office and I love the simplicity my life has been. I have enjoyed my work and the amazing people I have had the pleasure working with. I have grown up and matured in some many new ways. Not only personal growth but professional growth. I have continually been challenged in new ways and have learned so much about who I am and who I want to be. I don't know how I didn't see this coming, but I was surprised at how much really happened and changed me. I almost feel like a completely different person then I was a year ago. That's what change and growth do. Pure beauty.
With all that said, you might think I have things figured out. Ha. Jokes on me. I think because of all the great experiences I've had it's made me more confused then ever about what's next. I've really held off on blogging about this or gosh even talking about it. Everyone keeps asking and every time I just look around like "wait are they talking to me."
It goes like this. I extended my time here in Paraguay for 3 more months. My original 1 year would have finished in May. Now I am here till August. There are many reasons why I chose to stay for a bit, mostly I am still waiting to wake up one morning and feel like I'm ready to go home, but it hasn't happend. It's hard to prepare to leave a place you honestly love and enjoy with your whole being. That's how I feel about Paraguay. My whole being loves me here.
So what is next? I am applying for jobs. Near and far. Do you want to hire me? I have incredible references and a very strong work ethic. I don't know where exactly I'll be come August. My mom is hoping its Maryland and my boyfriend is hoping its in his arms in Paraguay. How do you even deal with that? Both such incredibly special people that I care so deeply for. Cue the everyday tears, heart ache and sleepless nights. I find myself clinging to one thing- Todo va a estar bien... Everything will be okay.. Breathe. That's me right now. I am breathing. I am okay. I am taking it day by day. No answers and one million questions. Life is funny sometimes, things almost work out to well and before you know it, it has to change all over again. We are just the memories we create.
I can't forget to mention my moms visit to Paraguay last month and the incredible time we had together! We traveled around Paraguay, Brazil and even a little of Argeninta, it was so special. We spent 2 whole weeks together and I loved it. She did so well, I really don't think she complained once. Which is impressive, traveling around South America can be difficult for some people. But my mom was a champion. I loved having her here and showing her all my places and introducing her to all my people. We really enjoyed ourselves! A big shot out to her amazing boss who made this all possible! We are incredible grateful for you and your generosity. What a kind soul and big heart you have.
That's all for now, hopefully I can finish strong and write a few more post. Thanks for the love!
